One I wrote at work..

'Hand me some paper' she said.
'I need to write this down' she begun to explain.
Startled he looks up & hands her a sheet of A4, plain.
She grabs a biro from the drawer beside her,
and begins to scrawl out the feelings from inside her.
He watches in awe as her tears begin to flow,
tracing the structure of her face, before hitting the paper below.
she lifts her gaze to his, tears still blurring her eyes.
he stays silent; knowing whispering 'i love you' now, would not be wise.
he breaks the bond and lowers his head,
And wishes he'd spoke what he what he hoped to have said
The room falls silent as she holds the pen still
his stomache in knots, he begins to feel ill
her voice is hoarse as she mumbles, 'i'm done',
This is the moment he hoped would'nt come,
She slides the paper towards him, her eyes fixed on the floor,
Hesitantly he takes it, searching her expression for more.
For more meaning behind the words, written upon the page,
For a way to release his heart, from where it's locked up in a cage.
He reads the words she's drawn from her heart,
And thinks of how things were, back at the start.
the days they spent laughing and joking,
the days before she started drinking and smoking,
a dry cough brings him back to current situation,
Allowing his train of thought to leave it's station.
His heart tells him to confront her about what's been said,
As usual he holds back, and just follows his head.
The first to speak, he mutters 'I'm sorry you feel this way.'
Boldy she annonces, 'there's no point asking me to stay.'
Their eyes meet again for a few seconds too long,
He considers asking what it is he's done wrong.
Accepting the fact that she will not change her mind
He takes his chances, and follows his heart this time.
Her face solomn as he gets down on one knee,
His mind silently begging 'please, look at me'.
Right on que she turns her face to meet his
Unsure whether she really wants to hear this,
he whispers 'i love you, and i always will'
She offers a look, and if looks could kill..
Undettered he continues to recite his speach,
Feeling she's slipping further out of his reach.
His heart is lifted as her face begins to soften,
'Winning you back, I don't like doing often.'
She smiles warmly and he smiles too,
She says 'you know how much I do love you'
'So say yes' he pleads, still down on one knee,
'And just what is it you're asking of me?'
'Darling I love you, I'm begging you please,
Spend the rest of your life, here with me.'


xxx

Cancer & Love. Unfinished..

'Why didn't you tell me before?'
She asks him through her tears,
He glances towards the door,
longing to walk away from his fears,
'I didn't think it would get this far.'
His eyes inquiring hers.
She toys with her lip bar,
a movement that often infurs.
She's nervous with uncertainty
he can see it in her movement,
he's just begging that she'll see
he feels as helpless as an infant.
A loud sob brings him back to the present
Her hand is placed guiltily upon her mouth,
She's trying to inquire about his descent
but the simplest of words won't come out.
'How long?' her voice so hoarse he strains to hear,
He steps forward and pulls her in to feel her near,
'They say about two months, but they're always wrong.'
He holds back the tears, knowing he must be strong.
'It's okay to be scared.' she whispers into his chest,
At this he lets out every tear he's tried to repress.
The cancer in his liver is spreading through him,
and he's resentful of the things he's yet to do,
He's so shocked he doesn't even know where to begin.
And somewhat uncertain of what he'll make it through.
He feels the pressure around his waist tighten
as she comforts him through her own pain,
'It's all going to be fine, don't you worry kitten.'
Yet as he says this, his body feels the deep strain.

.......

Another one to the collection..

I'm toying with my jewellery to avoid holding hands,
My head is hanging low, to avoid your demands.
My lips stay sealed so not to say it all wrong,
If I had my way by now, you'd be long gone.

If walking away is this hard
I might as well have stayed still.
If we hadn't drifted this far,
Then more silences would've been filled.

I'm angry at your questions,
and even more at my replies,
These moments aren't the best ones,
And the ones we can't just hide.

Two days without conversation
make our words more angry than before,
Harsh sentances formed without organisation,
Hitting so hard, our hearts fall to the floor.

My mind ablaze with the recent past,
of arguments, doubts and mistrust,
The good times been and gone so fast,
The laughter, play fights, and lust.

The last thread of reconcilliation has finally snapped,
As our limp bodies subside beneath the frayed rope.
The bridges we once built have dissipated and collapsed.
Our constantly beating hearts, no longer able to cope.

..xx

Writers block, much..

Sounds like a case for the frozen peas,
she's numb inside, and weak at the knees.
Her hands are clammy upon her lap,
Her expression conveys she's received a slap.
A slap, indeed, upon her emotional soul,
Her optimisim falling down a pre-defined hole.
Her back supported by a hypothetical wall,
Her mind willing her to leave, yet she does nothing at all.
She allows her gaze to stray to a motionless spot,
And leaves her train of thought chasing all that she's got.

The cheating & the lies,
are so cliche,
One look in his eyes
and she's begging him to stay.
Transfixed in her own delusions,
watching his false grace,
Falling for the illusions,
& following his constant pace.

Yet he cant be to blame for it all,
for she'd been strung up so high
she was destined to fall.
Yet she fell much harder
than she'd ever wished for,
Causing the silent earth beneath them to stir,
causing the bow to break on their fragile cradle,
leaving everything around them somewhat unstable.

xx

A journalistic view.

'Hello' she barely mumbles, the sheets crumpling around her,
'Morning..' his voice next to her is soft as he begins to stir..
The dawn is breaking, as the birds begin to sing their songs,
Her mind is racing of the nights events, of what she did wrong.
the body beside her is awaking from a short nights sleep,
to her left, on the floor her belongings lye in a heap.
her feelings towards him too strong to get up and go,
although these feelings are the one thing he'll never know.
she realises she spent the night getting closer to this man,
yet doing it this way had not been her plan.
regret sweeps over her body, as he leans into her
his hands begin to wander, his movements begin to infere.
uncomfortable she rolls over, her body away from his,
she prentends to be asleep, and he believes she is,
he lays back to rest, facing her and closes his eyes,
and he begins to wonder if his actions last night were wise..
he can't help shake the feeling that she felt it too,
the feeling that it wasn't just a drunken thing to do,
her fidgeting beside him brings a smile to his face,
he wants so much to hold her, while she longs for his embrace.
she's restless with uncertainty, does she speak her mind?..
if she reached into his heart, she wonders what she'd find.
all the while she's unaware that he feels the same,
she's afraid to turn over, incase it happens again.
he's silently begging that she'll wake, while he still has the nerve,
to tell her how he really feels, while they're undisturbed.

A libertine.

immoralistic and unscrupulous, she sets her foot out of the door,
feeling permiscous, in a few hours she'll be out cold on the floor.
A libertine in her own right, she carries her body well,
she drops her cigarette in the drain where she later fell.
her tee shirt tight, her skirt as short as she could achieve,
she's out tonight to waste away through the confines of a sieve.
she's a fiend for exploitation, and a lover of all misdeeds,
Refusing to consign to a single person, she bites the hand that feeds.
Defiant, and unmanagle, she walks this town alone,
making the assumption, that someone will take her home.

Untitled..

With every car that passes, there’s a ringing in my ears,
Over a thousand faces behind glass windows I’ll never hear,
The ringing repeats in my head as if to constantly remind
That possibly the most perfect person, has just drove right past my eyes
Maybe the person most suited to me, is thinking of ‘me’ too…
But we both hold out maps upside down and miss each other by miles,
I love the uncertainty; I love the fact that you may hear this line
And wonder if it’s you I’m writing about, or if I had someone else in mind
I’m always on the lookout, for someone to make me change,
To influence my decisions, and help me see the error in my ways.
I know you’re out there listening, even if you can’t hear my song,
A car will pass, your ears will ring, to my melodies, and you’ll sing along
I’ll be stuck in your head as you lie on your bed and write carbon copy lines
But if we both feel the same, are these my lines? Or are they your lines?

If I could conquer you, id lose the spark of this chase
The feeling that you’re so different, yet totally the same
As the diary reaches the end of this year
The pages show me the points I’ve traced
I wonder what you’re doing right now
I wonder where you are right now
It I could conquer you, id lose the spark of this chase

When this receiver rings, I know it’s not you on the line
But for that second of deliberation, between listening to the sound
And picking it up, I pretend to myself that you are there and mine,
Ive imagined myself with you, in hundreds of scenarios
Ive painted a picture of you in my mind
We could have shared a ‘hello’ in a crowded elevator
Or maybe waited for something in the same line
I may never know, but ill never lose hope…
I wonder what colour your eyes are, and if it’ll matter about mine
I’ve fallen in love with a character I’ve created, for lack of a better line
If I could really draw, id spend a day with closed eyes,
Pixelate, create, and memorize every contour of your beautiful face
I’d buy a special pencil, and colour you on my page.
And paste that image to every wall
It’s only then, my little heart, it would break
If I found out you were make believe after all…

Still, id regard the memory, like the fictional characters we loved as kids
But id never rule you out, like a line upon my page
Because you could be as real as this ink,
I never want to miss you, I never want to miss you.
And for that very reason, I promise to never blink.

A cheater's tale.. (unfinished.)

She sets her keys on the side, a sound to signal her arrival,
his heart skips and wills him to run, and instinct of survival.
One hand on the banister, a foot on the first stair,
her breathing is soft as she walks to him, completely unaware.
He wonders if the guilt would kill him, if he kept it to himself,
she enters the room and with a single simle, puts that question on the shelf.
'Are you okay?' her face is twisted, she knows something's not right,
he attempts a reassuring smile, but his eyes can't meet her sight.
He mumbles 'I'm fine' and excuses his mood for a migraine.
He allows his gaze to meet hers and realises his heart can't take the strain.
She turns her back, about to leave,
as he feels his stomache begin to heave.
his eyes trace her shoulders and her beautiful hair,
she hesitates in the doorway, sensing his stare.
before he can help it, he begins to sob,
she continues walking and doesnt stop,
she returns and hands him a tissue, before sitting beside him.
he draws a long breath, preparing to let out what's burning inside him.
she doesn't say a word, just sits patiently on their bed,
through the silence he attempts to unscramble the thoughts in his head.
'I'm so sorry' are the few words he is able to speak,
his mouth is dry, his hands clammy, and his heart is feeling weak.
When she doesn't respond, he is forced to continue his confession,
He knows he must tell the truth, as his lying has become an obsession,
he tells her how he cheated, and how he regrets it now,
He watches as her face, manages to remain solemn, somehow.
He asks her to speak her thoughts, to open up her mind,
she doesnt raise her voice, and her words are always kind.
She tells him that she loves him, and this crushes his feable heart,
shes asks him how it happened, and when did it all start.
he insists it was just the once, but she doesn't look too sure,
she tells him if he's lying, she'll walk straight out the door.
He insists he's being honest, because he loves her far too much,
'Darling, I feel the same, but it seems you're losing touch'.

Hello stranger

If your eyes are passing over this, and you're taking the time to take it in, I thankyou for your patience. And hope that maybe you'll stop by again.
I intend to fill this Blog with many of my poems, the good and the bad.
So please, enjoy.
And let me know your honest thoughts.

I'm Amy xx